The haiku handicapper

If given enough time, one will find analysis for tomorrow’s Breeders’ Cup Classic in just about every way, shape and form imaginable. However, I have yet to see anyone break down the race in the form of haiku. I am all but certain you noticed this as well. Not to worry, I’ve got you covered. From great boredom comes great inspiration. Enjoy!


#1 – Go Between
Cal-based contender
Go-Go keeps him in the hunt
I miss Heatseeker

#2 – Casino Drive
Far East invader
True threat or paper tiger?
Mom can’t win for him 

#3 – Tiago
Giacomo take two
California also-ran
Step behind the elite

#4 – Duke of Marmalade (Ire)
O’Brien’s first horse
Lost to a girl in the Arc
Curlin can relate 

#5 – Henrythenavigator
Aidan’s other shot
Turf to dirt a big concern
New rider hurts odds 

#6 – Smooth Air
State derby mainstay
Ohio Derby this ain’t
In over his head 

#7 – Student Council
The classic’s elder
Sagging form, but still competes
Nice horse, not today 

#8 – Raven’s Pass
A Euro turf horse 
Same questions, proven sire
Possible bargain 

#9 – Curlin
Champ’s title defense
Fake dirt brings uncertainty
Greats win over nails 

#10 – Fairbanks
Won at the distance
He’s starting to hit his stride
That’s nice, still outclassed 

#11 – Colonel John
Jekyll and Hyde year
Great pre-May, decent after
Bottom of super 

#12 – Champs Elysees (GB)
You’re in the wrong race
Will close if shows up at all
Why aren’t you on turf?


As for the winner?
Curlin slays Pro-Ride dragon
One, Seven for Tri

1 Comment

Filed under Stakes Races, The Haiku Handicapper

One response to “The haiku handicapper

  1. Niki

    Sorry I didn’t get the time to read this before the Breeder’s Cup, but it was hilarious none-the-less which really says something since I still have know clue what you’re talking about; quiet sad after being friends with you for 8 years, I know…

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