The Haiku Handicapper: 2011 Belmont Stakes

#1 – Master Of Hounds
Derby trip got buzz
Transatlantic trips bring pause
Not buying the hype

#2 – Stay Thirsty
Sidekick did little
To kick Uncle Mo’s shadow
Best will come later

#3 – Ruler On Ice
Mid-tier near-misses
Give him ho-hum resume
Doesn’t inspire

#4 – Santiva
In Derby’s top half
Shows solid dirt form at three
Has wild card chops

#5 – Brilliant Speed
A turf, synth standout
Didn’t bomb in dirt return
Keep on your radar

#6 – Nehro
The Derby bridesmaid
Stricken with seconditis
Threat to hit the board

#7 – Monzon
Mid-Atlantic steed
Class jumps were a disaster
Stick to overnights

#8 – Prime Cut
Making breakthrough start
From decent second-tier tries
Deep gimmicks at best

#9 – Animal Kingdom
Crown campaign fell short
Has the tools for 12 panels
Two for three ain’t bad

#10 – Mucho Macho Man
Hard-luck campaigner
Preakness trip was traumatic
What does he have left?

#11 – Isn’t He Perfect
Preakness afterthought
Homecoming doesn’t mean much
Isn’t he a toss?

#12 – Shackleford
Held strong in Preakness
Blistering pace is rare here
Lots more ground to keep

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Who wins the Belmont?
Animal Kingdom’s a beast
Four and five follow

The Haiku Handicapper: 2010 Belmont Stakes

Can Stately Victor bounce back from a troubled trip in the Kentucky Derby to win the Belmont Stakes? The world will find out on Saturday.

Test of champions/
Classic champs took the day off/
The Crown’s finale

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#1 – Dave In Dixie
A Derby trail dud/
Trounced in a weak Ill. Derby/
Toss with no remorse

#2 – Spangled Star
Mid-Atlantic based
Well handled by weaker foes
Seems pretty outclassed

#3 – Uptowncharlybrown
New McLaughlin charge
Traffic often derails him
Live in the gimmicks

#4 – Make Music For Me
A lights-out closer
Derby try wins most races
Hard one to pin down

#5 – Fly Down
Dwyer Stakes winner
Owns two wins over First Dude
Live, but not likely

#6 – Ice Box
Became this field’s chalk
When he crossed Churchill’s wire
Shouldn’t disappoint

#7 – Drosselmeyer
Used to have some hype
Has yet to turn the corner
Doubt he’ll do it here

#8 – Game On Dude
Stomped in legit stakes
Blew away a weak Lone Star
Dude looks like a toss

#9 – Stately Victor
Wiseguys love upside
Hard to glean much from Derby
Could go either way

#10 – Stay Put
Comes off a class drop
Stakes tries close, but no cigar
Could break some tickets

#11 – First Dude
Better of the “dudes”
Comes off the race of his life
Not keen on this spot

#12 – Interactif
A Derby dropout
Dirt is his third best surface
Nice horse, but I’ll pass

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How does it shake out?
Ice Box proves everyone right
Ten, three for the tri

The Haiku Handicapper: The 2009 Belmont Stakes

All this news surrounding the race date cuts is depressing the crap out of me. Let’s have some fun, eh?

Triple Crown’s last leg
Big Sandy brings champs to earth
Start spreading the news

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 #1 – Chocolate Candy
Can set pace or close
Can’t go wrong with Go-Go up
The field’s X-factor

#2 – Dunkirk
Fell flat in Derby
Yet to beat the crop’s elite
A show threat at best

#3 – Mr. Hot Stuff
Closer might like length
No fire in the Derby
Not too high on him

#4 – Summer Bird
Nice run at Churchill
Jockey change brings bad karma
Wait ’til the Spa meet

#5 – Luv Gov
Lone win’s a maiden
Stakes credentials are shaky
They’re asking too much

#6 – Charitable Man
Won the Belmont prep
Loves the track, running in front
Late speed should catch him

#7 – Mine That Bird
Underdog no more
Jock roulette lands on Borel
A serious threat

#8 – Flying Private
Shows up at each dance
Outran odds at Pimlico
Still don’t expect much

#9 –  Miner’s Escape
Tesio winner
Background is Da’Tara-esque
Lightning don’t strike twice

#10 – Brave Victory
LaPenta’s bomber
Zero success in big spots
Victory? No way. 

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Who gets carnations?
Borel lands the jock triple
One, six round it out